On shoes again

For those of you who are on Facebook or read my blogs writingwomansworld.blogspot.com, bookszeus.wordpress.com or donnadmunro.wordpress.com you may have given me feedback on why you love shoes (and thank you again). As yet the article hasn’t been taken up but I’ve pitched it to another magazine so I’ll keep you posted.

It got me thinking about shoes, and, for one who professes to not be a shoe-a-holic, I seem to be getting up bit hung up on shoes lately (not just figuratively, I got my shoes caught on the surf club steps the other night and almost took an embarrassing tumble).

Recently my brother commented, “ What’s with the biker-chick boots and bling and being all dressed up?”

I’ve been wearing the boots all winter and at twenty-five bucks from Jay Jays, that’s my bargain of the season. The bling I’ve had about two years and worn often to family barbecues. It’s a waist-long silver chain with shells and pearls (not biker chick, more surfy chick). I had skinny acid-washed jeans and a quarter-sleeve black and white tunic shit. So okay my brother isn’t that observant but it got me thinking that I’d done something right with what I was wearing.

It was odd for him to notice. I honestly didn’t think guys’ eyes go to shoes unless they are mile-heigh stilettos showing off killer calves and long sexy legs. But hey, maybe they do.

I try to look good wherever I go even if it is with my dear family, who’d love me even if I was wearing a potato sack. My fashion sense has gotten better with age. I never used to care about what I was wearing as long as the dress was short, the shoes showed off my tan and were comfortable enough to hobble around in until early in the morning and I looked hot (just my perception possibly the guys didn’t think so). Actually I remember my usual summer outfit was a bikini. Though I can still wear one reasonably well I don’t think my 15-year-old son would appreciate such a fashion statement when his mates are visiting.

Colour? The only colours I thought about were those that were bright. I was a big fan of flouros (cringe!) and I can happily say I’ve toned that down and people have stopped wearing sunglasses around me.

Thongs. God I loved thongs and those wedge thongs in three or four colours (apparently they are coming back) gave me a little extra height, so they were priceless.

So what’s changed? My care factor. I don’t even step out of the house without makeup, let alone shoes. I’m not one of those mums who’ll happily chat over the neighbor's fence in a terry-toweling robe and a roller in my hair. No way. I won’t even get in the car and go to the shop unless I have something decent on.

Even if it’s only a workout outfit it has to fit flatteringly (nothing worse than bulging panty line) and be fairly colour co-ordinated and clean runners must adorn my feet. A bit of Dove under the arms helps too. If I’m going to the shopping centre instead of just the corner store I up the anti. Makeup, jeans, ironed t-shirt or blouse, earrings and shoes (usually sandals or low pumps) or a pretty dress in summer. My hair needs to be washed and blow-dried. As a twenty-something I thought beach-swept messy hair was de rigueur now I’d feel like a homeless person if I left my hair unwashed.

Going to the footy on the weekend I always co-ordinate with the team I’m supporting and I have a lot of fun with it and always get comments (good ones okay).

I don’t think I’m vainer (I’m sure my 20-something me was far more conceited). I don’t think I’m a middle-aged-old-fashioned dresser either. My style is mainly what suits my body and that includes colours and shapes. I’m short so big patterns make me look ridiculous and some shoes just don’t suit my petite feet. I like feminine clothes that show I’m a woman without being too sexy. There’s nothing worse than looking like you’re out for a root at a nightclub when your at a neighborhood barbie. Save it for the actual nightclub.

I don’t have much to choose from each season, with a family (teenage boys) to feed and bills to pay but I think I do okay with what I do have. I don’t have expensive loud jewelry in fact I don’t have expensive taste. If I could say what style I have I’d say my own. I’ll think about it some more when I figure out a way to describe it.

But...back to the shoes. At my friend Lisa’s son’s 21st birthday party I couldn’t help but notice the huge, platform shoes the young women were wearing. They could give me about 40cm extra height and at 151cm tall that is extremely appealing. I don’t know how they balance on them but I’m game to try. I’m just wondering how sore their toes and calves will be by the end of the night.

How great would it be to look at people's heads instead of smelling their armpits all night (a short person's perspective eh!)?

Tell me if you know.

My mum the artist with love

I wanted to share one of my most prized possessions. An African Painting by Valerie J. Ibbotson.
My mum has been painting on and off for years and each painting is beautiful and unique. She has an affinity with abstract art but she tries any style and loves texture. A contemporary beach scene she painted for my niece, Darci, was colourful, vibrant and funky. We all love it.
Mum may not believe it herself but she truly is an artist. Darci's piece confirmed it, as did her brother, Wilson's South Sydney Rabbitoh's painting. My step-son Kris has a red, white and black abstract we all call 'the keyhole' and it's pride-of-place at his home with his new wife, Elise. He liked it so much when it was hanging on our wall that I gave it to him, knowing how pleased Mum would be.
I have earlier paintings - 'sunflower', 'zebra stripe' & 'pandanus'. Family and friends are also lucky enough to have been gifted her paintings and I'm sure they treasure them.
I asked her if she could paint me an African theme. I gave her some books and left her to come up with a design. I'm sure love flows through her brush as she strokes. Isn't this superb?

I am so proud of Mum's paintings and I thank her so much for my beautiful gift. Truly she should be selling them and I'm sure they'd be buyers other than family and friends. The canvas and paint cost money (and we know how far money goes these days) but I know her love is always free but we should never take it for granted.
Mum adores painting as much as I love writing and I'm just so happy for her that now she has time to indulge in that passion along with her new one. Her other passion is travelling in her campervan, Smart Car towing behind and Dieter by her side. May she travel many roads and paint many paintings for plenty of years to come.
I hope there's always as much colour in her life as she has brought into mine. Colour me happy! :)

Prompts to get you writing again

If you need some prompts to get the muse working for you again, try these:

• Explain the taste and smell of mint. Do you like it? What does it remind you of?
• What goal have you set this year? Write about why it is important to you.
• What is soft, warm and cuddly?
• Write a story about a bird.
• Observe one of your children and write about the faces they pull in different situations eg. happy, sad, frustrated, intrigued etc.
• Look at a cupcake and imagine a fantasy world living inside it.

• Feel the breeze on your face. Describe it.
• You win something. How do you feel?
• Write a romance of only 250 words.
• Do a travel story on your dream destination.
• Write about the saddest thing that ever happened to you.

I hope your muse is back and getting really pushy so that you have no more excuses not to write.

Harden up Kids - Mum wants to write now!

My children are at an age when they’ll soon be flying away and I’ll be staring at my empty nest wondering where all those years went.

I’m a realist and I know one day they’ll be forging their own paths and living their own dreams but I’ll miss them. Where was that tissue?

The big thing is, I think this generation of kids have been pandered to too much and maybe they’ll never actually contemplate leaving. As much as I’ll miss them I wish they’d leave me in peace to write, read and daydream. To have my office study back to myself would be bliss. I’m sick of the constant tug-o-war with the internet USB. It’s mine!

I feel guilty that I’m a terrible parent for being too loving (constantly talked about in the media for being too soft), yes pandering to their every need, and not just me, my hubby does too.

We say:

• “Do you want a sandwich, honey?”
• “Don’t worry I’ll make your bed for you.”
• “Yes, I’ll pick up your socks again.”
• “When would you like me to drive you to the shops, even though you have your own car, license and good driving sense. Oh, that’s right you want to use MY petrol.”
• “Okay if you don’t know how to turn on the lawnmower Dad will mow when he gets home.”

My teenagers don’t even pay board. Don’t start wagging your finger at me. One’s still at school (well, that is when he actually attends). The other has just started out in a career in personal training. I get free personal sessions doesn’t that equate to his board? On second thoughts I may have been ripped off though because the amount he eats in broccoli alone would fill a commercial fridge.

Yeah, I’m not really justifying anything am I? They need to harden up and so do I.

I was not much older than my youngest and two years older than my oldest when I started flatting. Just learning to live with the different complexities of flatmates prepared me for what it would be like coping with a family and the array of tantrums and melodramas.

When I was 20 I travelled around Australia in a yellow XB Ford station wagon with my best friend and lived day-to-day, town-to-town. I found jobs as varied as compositing and typesetting to fruit picking and working as a cook on a prawn trawler.

These gave me so much life experience and even sometimes put me in danger and I was a girl. Hello, are our boys wimping out? Why aren’t they going out and experiencing travel, excitement, fun, frivolity etc.? Why?

I hope I’m not old and grey before they leave even though I love them to bits. I’ve started on a campaign to toughen them up and make them street smart – well flatmate smart. I’m teaching them to cook and clean up after themselves. I’m teaching them about finances and how to build security. I’m teaching them to have goals and most of all to dream about the endless possibilities in life.

I thought I’d set an example by what I did when I was young but they don’t want to hear about THE OLDEN DAYS, they want to hear about here and now. I hope my new strategy works.

I really want my desk back – ONE DAY!

My totally dysfunctional relationship with money

I’ve figured out that I have a dysfunctional relationship with money. This hasn’t come about because I’m inept or unsuccessful, it’s apparently come about because I’m a woman. According to recent studies most women tend to deal with every other hurdle in their lives other than finances. I’ve got to agree that I must be one of those women.
It dates back to our grandfathers not letting our grandmothers have control of the family finances and even though this generation have more control they’ve never been taught how to deal with it. What’s an option? Is it the same as a share? I honestly have no idea. Do you?

90% of women feel insecure about their finances. - Allianz Insurance Survey

It’s embarrassing to admit this but many women don’t let on that they don’t know. They want to be seen to be coping, to be the super woman and one little flaw (like not understanding finance) will undermine the image of today’s coping-with-anything woman.
I only did my tax last week (and I still haven’t posted it). I did my businesses whole accounts over one week instead of the whole year. I only check my bank balance when I know I’ll be struggling to pay a bill. Yes, the last thing on my mind is my money. Or is it truer that it’s always on my mind but I keep putting it into the too-hard basket? Whatever the case the more I read about women not taking control of their finances the more I believed they were talking about me.
I’ve run a successful business. I’ve kept a happy home and fed two healthy sons. I've owned homes and paid out mortgages. I’ve volunteered. I’ve held down corporate jobs. I’ve written four book-length manuscripts and countless short stories and articles. I’ve made time for friends and family, sport and fitness. Let’s just say I’ve been as busy as the average woman. How in the hell am I meant to bother with finances at the end of all that?
The one thing I realise is that I need to make time for it. If I don’t take control no one will. My husband is like an ostrich with his head in the sand. He believes a bill will miraculously get paid if you just ignore it. For this reason we find ourselves struggling with money and I’m sick of it.
So I’m taking control. I’m getting in charge of my own destiny. I have a bit more reading to find out how but I’m on the right track. Instead of putting money last (as much of a chore as it seems) I’m going to put it higher on my list. It won’t come first because my family will always come first but it’s got to come close because doesn’t it link to them anyway. Without money how can I protect them? How can I keep a roof over their head and feed them? How can I safeguard their future?
I don’t want to sound materialistic. I’m far from that. I just need to be less scared of money and then, hopefully the result will be I don’t have to worry about it any more.
Happiness is easier to attain with less stress and one major stress seems to be money. If we could get rid off this one problem would it help us find happiness? I don't believe it always would but it's gotta make things easier.
Wish me luck and any suggestions would be gratefully appreciated.

Me - the writer - answering my own questions

I asked the authors at Zeus Publications to fill in an author questionnaire and I decided to fill one in myself.

Name: Donna Munro
What are the books you have written?: I have only been published in magazines so I can only say I’ve written book-length manuscripts. I started out with ‘The Fire Within’ a romance novel. As a first attempt it was, let’s just say, a learning curve. It sits in my filing cabinet along with two other romance genre manuscripts, and mainstream fiction story titled ‘Bindi. My latest is general/chick-lit type fiction titled ‘Finding Tarzan’. I’m currently seeking a publisher for it. I’m very proud of this one. I've learnt a lot from my previous attempts.
What is your perfect genre?: Mostly women’s fiction, gritty romance (real sex scenes) and thrillers.
Where is your favourite place to write?: I wish I had the perfect study. I have a lovely picture of it in my head. Oh, one day.
What is your favourite writing reference, tool etc.?: My brain. I try to keep it functioning smoothly by good diet and exercise. Without my brain how would I think up story lines? How would I imagine anything?
Do you need peace and quiet or noise and chaos when you write?: I have a boisterous family so if I waited for peace and quiet I would never have had time to write five manuscripts along with the freelance stories and articles I do.
What is something unique about your writing?: Me. I guess it’s the only unique thing – my voice.
Do you think rejection is just a part of writing that writers have to accept?: Unfortunately, yes. I’ve had my fair share. I dislike it so much I haven’t sent my older manuscripts to more than one or two publishers and I know I shouldn’t have given up that easily. I will not give up on ‘Finding Tarzan’.
Does anyone help you with your writing process?: I have encouragement from friends family and mentors but when it comes to the crunch, it’s up to me.
What is your best advice to new writers?: Have faith in your ability but don’t be cocky. Keep learning everything about the craft.
What can’t you live without?: My family of course. Being a mother and wife are my most fulfilling roles but being a writer is a core part of who I am.
Who is your favourite author?: There are tonnes but I like Australian’s Jennifer Bacia, Di Morrissey and Rachael Treasure. My favourite book is ‘A Man Cannot Cry’ by Gloria Keverne. Nicholas Sparks makes me cry but I adore his books. I'm currently into Janet Evanovich's books which are quirky.
What do you do as a hobby or pastime other than writing?: Anything to do with fitness and health, keeping a nice home, watching Rugby League (my son’s Joel and Blake play) and being involved in volunteering.

In one word describe yourself: Short.

Happiness Starts with You

I’m a happy person. Okay, like everyone I have my moments but generally I’m happy. Why is this so? I believe because I choose to be. I know other people like me, my mother for instance. (Yes, perhaps that’s where I get the happiness trait). They are the people who smile at strangers and who openly laugh out loud. They aren’t the people wearing frowns and stamping their feet. Being upbeat helps you achieve so much more than being a woe-is-me-type person.
I smile a lot and I think it’s become a habit. Particularly when I was younger (in my twenty-something days) people would come up and smile back and ask why I’m always smiling. Why not? It’s better than frowning. Frowning hurts and the wrinkles certainly won’t be as appealing as laughter lines.
Anyhow this got me thinking about making myself even happier so I wanted to think up twelve things (12 instead of 10 because I like divisions of 6 – please don’t ask me why).
Here are my twelve things that recently made me smile:

• My youngest son texting me that he was proud of something he’d done.

• My dog not wanting to go outside to wee in the rain and watching her trying to hold on (sook).

• My mum speaking on the phone without a hint of asthma in her voice.

• The sun setting like orange and red ribbons over the lake behind my house and the trees casting shadows on the shimmering water.

• Hearing a favourite song (Rob Thomas of course) on the radio as I drove to work.

• Watching a young father gazing at his son with tenderness as they sit eating dinner together at a local surf club.

• My oldest son’s grin when he relayed the news that Qld Fire Service accepted his application.

• Watching my son and his girlfriend hold hands.

• Seeing the ducks on the pond gliding past and causing little ripples in their wake and their ducklings slipstreaming behind them.

• Seeing a book I’ve marketed start to sell and hearing how happy the author is.

• Seeing my husband’s face when he realises he is on the top of the footy tipping table (it’s kinda like a smirk though).

• Believing I see my father’s face in the cotton-wool clouds in a cyan-blue sky.

Now, how about you write down twelve of your own. I hope this inspires you to write today, but most of all I hope it encourages you to see the little things that can make you happy.
Smile.